Introduction: When You Don’t Want to Pray—But Want to Want To
Let’s be honest—sometimes, we just don’t want to pray. We know prayer is important. We know it connects us to God. But in certain seasons, whether due to exhaustion, discouragement, or just plain busyness, prayer feels more like a burden than a blessing.
If that’s where you are, you’re not alone. Even in the Bible, faithful men and women struggled with prayer. The Apostle Paul wrote about spiritual battles and inner struggles (Romans 7:15-25). King David, a man after God’s own heart, often cried out in frustration, feeling distant from God (Psalm 42:3-5). Even Job, in the depths of suffering, wrestled with whether speaking to God was worth it (Job 30:20).
But here’s something encouraging: sometimes, we don’t even have the desire to pray, but we wish we did—and that’s actually a good sign. It means we recognize the importance of prayer, even if we’re struggling with it. That longing, however faint, is evidence that God is stirring something in our hearts.
Maybe you’re reading this and wondering, Do I actually have a real relationship with God? If that question weighs on your heart, the first step to a thriving prayer life is knowing Jesus personally. Prayer is more than a religious act—it’s a conversation with the living God. And through Jesus, we are invited into that relationship. If you’re unsure whether you’ve placed your faith in Christ, I encourage you to read about becoming a Christian.
For those who have placed their faith in Christ, prayer isn’t about following a rule—it’s about grace. We are not under the law, where prayer is a religious duty. We are under grace, where prayer is an invitation into God’s presence. And yet, grace doesn’t mean we’ll always feel like praying. Just as we sometimes have to read the Bible even when we’re not in the mood, or go to church when we’d rather sleep in, prayer is something we sometimes do out of obedience—trusting that the desire will follow.
Thankfully, we don’t have to do this on our own. For those who belong to Christ, the Holy Spirit is the one who gives us the desire and strength to pray. Our role is simply to show up, and God meets us there.
Key Verses:
Philippians 2:13 – “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
Romans 8:26 – “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
1. Why Do We Struggle with Prayer?
So, why is it that sometimes we just don’t want to pray? What’s going on inside us when prayer feels like a chore instead of a lifeline?
First, let’s acknowledge that struggling with prayer doesn’t make you a bad Christian. It makes you human. If you’ve been feeling guilty about this, take a deep breath—God already knows your struggle, and He’s not surprised by it.
Here are some of the most common reasons we avoid prayer:
1.1 Spiritual Dryness – When Prayer Feels Empty
There are seasons when we feel like we’re just talking to the ceiling. The words come out, but they don’t seem to go anywhere. We read about vibrant, powerful prayers in the Bible, and we wonder, Why doesn’t mine feel like that?
David, the writer of so many passionate psalms, had moments of deep discouragement:
“My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’” (Psalm 42:3)
If even David—who had seen God move in miraculous ways—felt like this at times, it’s no wonder we do, too.
1.2 Emotional Struggles – When Life Hits Hard
Let’s be real: sometimes we avoid prayer because we’re angry, hurt, or heartbroken. Maybe we’ve been praying for something and it hasn’t happened. Maybe we’ve been let down, and we’re afraid to hope again.
Prayer requires vulnerability, and when we’re already emotionally drained, being real with God can feel exhausting. But avoiding prayer doesn’t actually protect us—it just distances us from the One who can heal us.
Paul understood suffering. He prayed three times for God to remove his “thorn in the flesh,” but instead, God answered:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Maybe you’re in a season where you don’t understand what God is doing. That’s okay. But don’t let confusion or disappointment keep you from talking to Him.
1.3 Busyness & Distraction – When Life Gets in the Way
Sometimes, we don’t avoid prayer because we’re upset or discouraged—we just get too busy. We wake up, rush into the day, handle a hundred things, and by the time we remember, Oh yeah, I should pray, we’re half-asleep on the couch.
It’s not that we don’t want to pray. It’s that we don’t prioritize it.
But here’s the hard truth: we make time for what matters to us.
- We don’t forget to eat.
- We don’t forget to check our phones.
- We don’t forget to binge-watch that show everyone’s talking about.
If prayer keeps getting squeezed out, it might be time to ask: What am I putting first?
Jesus knew what it meant to be busy—yet He made time to pray:
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)
If Jesus needed time with the Father, how much more do we?
1.4 Lack of Desire – When We Just Don’t Feel Like It
This is where things get tricky. What do you do when you don’t even want to pray?
The answer: You pray anyway.
Here’s the thing—our feelings don’t get to decide our obedience. There are plenty of things we do in life that we don’t feel like doing but do anyway because they’re necessary:
- Exercising
- Waking up early for work
- Paying bills
We do these things because they matter. And prayer matters even more.
Paul tells us to be “devoted to prayer” (Colossians 4:2) not because we always feel like it, but because it’s essential for our spiritual health.
1.5 Sin & Shame – When We Feel Unworthy
Let’s be honest—sometimes we avoid prayer because we feel guilty. Maybe we messed up. Maybe we’ve been distant from God for a long time. Maybe we feel like we should be better by now.
So instead of coming to God, we hide. We figure, I’ll pray when I get my act together.
But here’s the truth: We don’t clean ourselves up to come to God—we come to God so He can clean us up.
Paul reminds us:
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
God isn’t waiting to scold you. He’s waiting to welcome you.
Bringing It Together: Why This Matters
If any of these struggles resonate with you, don’t be discouraged. You are not alone. Every believer faces seasons like this. But the important thing is that you don’t let these struggles keep you from prayer.
So what’s the next step? Let’s talk about how to move forward—even when we don’t feel like it.
2. Prayer Isn’t About Feelings—It’s About Faithfulness
If we only prayed when we felt like it, most of us wouldn’t pray very often. That’s because prayer isn’t always a deeply emotional, awe-inspiring experience. Sometimes, it feels routine. Other times, it feels like a struggle.
But here’s the good news: prayer isn’t about feelings—it’s about faithfulness.
When you don’t want to pray, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you’re human. Maturity in the Christian life isn’t about always wanting to do the right thing; it’s about doing it even when you don’t feel like it.
Think about it:
- You don’t always feel like going to work, but you go.
- You don’t always feel like exercising, but you know it’s good for you.
- You don’t always feel like showing love to people, but you do it anyway.
Prayer is the same way. We don’t have to feel anything to pray well. In fact, some of the most powerful prayers happen when we come to God in complete dryness, simply out of obedience.
Did Jesus Ever Feel like This?
Jesus walked on this earth in flesh as a human, but He never sinned. So, was He ever disobedient to His Heavenly Father and sinned because He didn’t pray. No, He didn’t. But that doesn’t meant that He always felt like committing that time of prayer to God. Did He always make the right decision? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that He wasn’t tempted to follow human emotions and do other things rather than taking the time for prayer.
The best example of this is Jesus in Gethsemane. Even though He was literally God in the flesh, walking on earth as a man, I think we could make the argument that His need to “sweat great drops of blood” in prayer at Gethsemane wasn’t because His human emotions were urging Him on. They were probably telling Him all sorts of things. I probably would have wanted to run! But, He was driven to prayer by His great need and His love and obedience to His Father.
The night before the cross, Jesus was in agony. He knew what was coming—the betrayal, the beatings, the nails, the wrath of God poured out for sin. He wasn’t eagerly anticipating the suffering. He was deeply distressed.
And yet, He prayed.
“Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”
(Luke 22:42)
Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross—but He prayed in surrender to the Father’s will. If Jesus, the Son of God, needed to pray through His struggles, how much more do we?
The Holy Spirit Helps Us Pray
We’re not supposed to push through simply on our own strength. The Holy Spirit helps us pray, even when we feel nothing.
Paul tells us:
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
(Romans 8:26)
When prayer feels dry, the Holy Spirit is still at work. Even when we don’t have the words, He prays for us.
Faithfulness in Prayer Leads to Growth
The more we choose to pray, even when we don’t feel like it, the more our prayer life grows. Over time, obedience leads to deeper connection, and discipline leads to desire.
Paul encourages us:
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”
(Colossians 4:2)
And we can come before God confidently, even in our weakness:
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
(Hebrews 4:16)
When You Don’t Want to Pray, Pray Anyway
The key takeaway here is simple: don’t let your feelings determine your faithfulness. When you don’t want to pray, pray anyway. Even if it’s short. Even if it’s dry. Even if it feels like nothing is happening.
Because the truth is—God hears you, even when you don’t feel it.
4. How to Restart Your Prayer Life When You’ve Stopped
Finding yourself in a season where you don’t want to pray or have stopped praying altogether can be disheartening. However, reigniting your prayer life is both possible and deeply rewarding. Here are some practical steps to help you reconnect with God:
4.1 Start Small – Begin with Short, Honest Prayers
If prayer feels daunting, start with simple, heartfelt prayers. Even a brief, sincere plea like “God, help me pray” can be a powerful beginning. This approach acknowledges your reliance on God and opens the door to deeper communication.
4.2 Pray Scripture – Use the Bible as Your Prayer Guide
Incorporating Scripture into your prayers can provide structure and inspiration. The Psalms, the Lord’s Prayer, or Paul’s epistles offer rich language and themes to guide your conversations with God. Praying God’s Word back to Him aligns your heart with His truths.
4.3 Set a Specific Time – Establish a Routine
Consistency fosters habit. Designate a specific time each day for prayer, even if it’s just five minutes. This regularity helps integrate prayer into your daily life, making it a natural and anticipated part of your routine.
Approach God with transparency about your struggles, doubts, and desires. Authentic communication strengthens your relationship with Him and fosters a deeper connection.
4.5 Join a Prayer Group – Connect with Fellow Believers
Engaging with a community can provide support and accountability. Joining a prayer group or partnering with a prayer buddy encourages consistency and offers mutual encouragement.
4.6 Use Prayer Tools – Enhance Your Focus
Utilize tools like prayer journals or prayer cards to organize your thoughts and track your spiritual journey. These aids can help maintain focus and reflect on God’s faithfulness over time.
4.7 Embrace Silence – Listen for God’s Voice
Incorporate moments of silence into your prayer time to listen and reflect. This practice allows space for God to speak to your heart and mind.
Biblical Example: Daniel’s Consistent Prayer Life
Daniel exemplified steadfastness in prayer, maintaining his routine despite external pressures. His commitment serves as an inspiring model for rekindling our own prayer lives.
“Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room… Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.”
Key Verses:
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
- Mark 1:35 – “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
5. Overcoming Obstacles to Prayer
Even when you know prayer is important, obstacles can still get in the way. Maybe your mind wanders. Maybe you feel like God isn’t listening. Or maybe you just feel stuck, unsure of what to say.
When you don’t want to pray, these struggles can feel like even bigger barriers. But here’s the good news: God isn’t waiting for perfect prayers—He just wants you to come to Him. Let’s look at some common obstacles and how to overcome them.
5.1 When Your Mind Wanders – Stay Focused with Intentionality
Ever start praying and then suddenly realize you’re thinking about your to-do list, dinner plans, or that embarrassing thing you said five years ago? You’re not alone.
Try this:
- Write your prayers down – Journaling keeps your thoughts focused.
- Pray out loud – Speaking helps engage your mind.
- Follow a prayer guide – Using structured prayers (like the Psalms or Paul’s prayers) provides direction.
Paul encourages us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). When distractions come, redirect your focus back to God.
5.2 When You Feel Like God Isn’t Listening – Trust His Word Over Emotions
It’s hard to keep praying when it feels like your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling. Maybe you’ve been asking for something for a long time, and you wonder if God even hears you.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” (1 John 5:14)
Prayer isn’t about getting what we want on our timeline—it’s about drawing close to God and trusting that He knows best. Even when you don’t feel Him, He is still present.
5.3 When You’re Tired – Keep It Simple
After a long day, sitting down for an extended prayer time can feel overwhelming. But prayer doesn’t have to be long to be meaningful.
Try this:
- Say a one-sentence prayer before bed: “Lord, thank You for today.”
- Pray short, simple prayers throughout the day (while driving, doing dishes, or walking).
- Use the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) as a guide when you’re too tired to find your own words.
Even Jesus, in His humanity, needed rest. But He still made time for prayer, even in exhaustion (Mark 1:35).
5.4 When You Feel Stuck – Change Your Approach
Sometimes, prayer can feel stagnant. You say the same things over and over, and it feels lifeless.
Try switching things up:
- Change your posture – Kneel, lift your hands, or take a prayer walk.
- Sing your prayers – Worship is a form of prayer.
- Pray Scripture – Let God’s Word guide your prayers.
In 1 Kings 19:11-13, Elijah was discouraged and felt stuck. But instead of speaking in a dramatic way, God met him in a whisper. Sometimes, changing our posture or approach helps us hear God in fresh ways.
5.5 Draw Near to God, and He Will Draw Near to You
No matter what obstacle you’re facing, remember this promise:
“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)
Even when you don’t want to pray, simply taking one small step—whispering a prayer, opening your Bible, or even just sitting in silence with God—can rekindle your prayer life.
6. How Prayer Strengthens Your Faith Over Time
When you don’t want to pray, it’s easy to assume that something is wrong with you spiritually. But what if this is just part of growing in faith?
Prayer is like spiritual exercise—it may feel awkward or difficult at first, but over time, it strengthens us. Just as our muscles grow with consistent workouts, our faith grows when we choose to pray, even when we don’t feel like it.
6.1 The More You Pray, the More You Desire Prayer
Many people think they should wait until they feel like praying before they start. But the truth is, desire often follows discipline.
Think about it:
- When you start eating healthier, over time, your cravings change.
- When you start exercising, eventually, you begin to enjoy it.
- When you start praying, even when you don’t want to, you begin to want to pray more.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
As you pray, God changes your heart. He gives you the desire to seek Him more.
6.2 Prayer Builds Trust in God’s Presence
The more you pray, the more you experience God’s peace and presence. Even when circumstances don’t change, prayer reminds you that God is with you—and that changes everything.
Paul understood this well. He faced extreme hardships, yet his prayer life deepened because he learned to depend on God completely.
“We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself… But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God.”
(2 Corinthians 1:8-9)
Paul’s suffering didn’t drive him away from God—it drove him to God. The more he prayed, the more his faith strengthened.
6.3 Peace Comes Through Prayer, Not Circumstances
One of the most beautiful promises in Scripture is that prayer brings peace. Not necessarily the peace of understanding everything, but the peace of trusting God through everything.
Paul reminds us:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
(Philippians 4:6-7)
If you don’t want to pray, start small. The more you press into prayer, the more you’ll see your faith strengthened and your heart transformed.
7. Encouragement: God Is Not Disappointed in You
If you don’t want to pray, it’s easy to feel like a failure. Maybe you think God is frustrated with you or that He’s keeping score of how often you talk to Him. But let’s clear this up right now—God is not disappointed in you.
God isn’t sitting in heaven with a clipboard, marking down missed prayers like a strict teacher tracking attendance. He’s a loving Father, and prayer is an invitation, not an obligation.
7.1 You Are Not Under the Law—You Are Under Grace
We often put pressure on ourselves to have a perfect prayer life, as if God’s love depends on how well we perform. But prayer isn’t about performance—it’s about relationship.
Paul reminds us:
“For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”
(Romans 6:14)
Grace means you don’t have to “make up” for lost time in prayer. If you’ve gone days, weeks, or even years without praying, you can start fresh right now.
7.2 God’s Love for You Isn’t Based on Your Prayer Life
If you’re struggling to pray, God’s love for you hasn’t changed one bit. You are just as loved on your worst spiritual day as you are on your best.
Paul reassures us:
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
(Romans 8:1)
Let that sink in—no condemnation. None. If you don’t want to pray, God isn’t angry or distant. He’s gently calling you back, not with judgment, but with love.
7.3 Start Where You Are, Not Where You Think You Should Be
If you feel guilty or discouraged about your lack of prayer, let that go. Instead of focusing on where you think you should be, simply take the next step forward.
- If you haven’t prayed in a long time, whisper a simple prayer: “Lord, I’m here.”
- If you feel distant from God, ask Him: “Draw me closer to You.”
- If you don’t know what to say, just sit in silence with Him.
God isn’t asking for perfect prayers. He’s asking for your heart.
Conclusion: One Small Step at a Time
If you are a Christian and you find yourself not wanting to pray, don’t let guilt or shame keep you from God. Prayer isn’t about proving your spirituality—it’s about connecting with your Heavenly Father. Even if you feel distant, distracted, or discouraged, God is still inviting you to come to Him, just as you are. He isn’t asking for perfection; He’s simply asking for your heart.
If prayer feels overwhelming, start small. Pray a short sentence: “Lord, help me.” Read a single verse. Ask the Holy Spirit to stir your heart. The enemy wants you to believe that because you haven’t prayed in a while, you need to wait until you’re “spiritually ready” to come back. But that’s a lie. The best time to start praying again is right now.
Trust that even when you don’t want to pray, God is still at work in you. Feelings come and go, but His faithfulness never changes. As you take small steps of obedience, you’ll begin to see your desire for prayer grow. Over time, what once felt like a struggle will become a source of strength.
So today, take one step. Whisper a prayer. Open your Bible. Simply sit in God’s presence. The Holy Spirit will meet you there, strengthening your faith and drawing you closer to the One who loves you most.
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