Seeking the Answers
If you are reading this, then chances are you struggling with the question, “Why am I still single?” If so, you’re not alone. Waiting on the right life partner can be distressing and frustrating, especially if you are reaching that age in which you thought you would have been married by now.
So, you may very well ask – “why is God making me wait for a husband or wife?”
The stress, worry, loneliness, or self-doubt that this causes can become an overwhelming emotional burden. The fear of the biological and social clocks ticking can be overwhelming, sometimes especially to females, but also to males.
Well, this post is written to encourage you in and through these periods of life that you might be experiencing. The desire is to help and encourage you. This blog post will explore this emotionally charged topic in different ways: emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
Why Is God Making Me Wait For a Husband or Wife – Personal Experience
I don’t come at this topic without having experienced some of this myself. Most of my friends had long been married by the time my bride and I walked down the aisle. Having finished my university degree in 1982, it still sometimes felt like forever before I married my lovely bride and I walked down the aisle and was wed at the age of 30.
But don’t think about it as an age or number of years. I have seen friends and family join with their lifelong spouses in the early twenties and I have likewise seen some be wed for the first time several decades beyond that.
Don’t despair, and if you believe that the God of the Bible is in control, you can know that He has a perfect and infinite love for you that is unceasing even when don’t understand his timing.
Don’t Doubt God’s Love
Focus on this with all of your heart and mind. There is no greater true love than the love of the Heavenly Father. God’s love is perfect love and God’s way is the perfect way. The enemy of God, the evil one, Satan, or whatever name you give him will use whatever he can, especially our emotions to get you to doubt God’s love.
He will tempt you to question God’s power or the way God works and make you doubt that God has your best interests at heart.
There are a lot of Bible verses that tell us how much He loves us, but this is one of my favorite passages.
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
Romans 8:38-39
There is no period of waiting, worries, and fears of the future, or anything in all of creation that can separate us from the love of God. His love was displayed as Jesus, God’s Son, came to earth to live, love his fellow man, pay the ultimate price for our failures, and then miraculously rise from the dead.
So, you have a God who can walk on water, raise other dead people to life, do countless other miracles, and walk out of the grave Himself. Therefore, He can certainly help you navigate any situation or emotional struggles that you have in terms of being single.
The Emotional and Spiritual Impact of Waiting
Let me address what is one of the most important aspects of waiting for a godly husband or wife. A lot of people will totally depend on and listen to what their emotions are saying to them. And sometimes these emotions speak loudly into our spirit and try to drown out the truth that God wants us to hear.
So, don’t despair if your emotions are up and down about getting a mate. What if you happen to meet a nice young man or young lady who grabs your attention and maybe you “feel” some sparks? At that point, your emotions may be very positive and help you FEEL VERY GOOD emotionally.
Then, maybe you find out he or she is a good Christian man or woman, then your emotions may jump to the next level of feeling REALLY GOOD. But, let’s embrace the fact that our emotions are just reactors to what our mind is thinking. Our emotions can be truthful or untruthful. So, although we are blessed by God to be emotional beings, we can’t live our lives based only on what we feel.
Let’s say that you have a date with a young man or woman and the relationship doesn’t pan out at all, then your emotions may take a dive and be back to square one. Does that mean that God doesn’t love you or is punishing you or wants you to be brokenhearted? Of course not.
However, the next thing you know you may have feelings of worthlessness You may once again feel that God has forgotten you or that your pain is way down the list of things that God has to do! But, that’s not true. If you are a child of God, He is concerned about your dream of marriage and what happens to you for the rest of your life.
Why is God making me wait for a husband or wife? He may have some spiritual growth to develop in you.
Focus on a Healthy Relationship with God
Sure, waiting for your future spouse can be emotionally taxing. Psychologically, waiting during these times can fuel uncertainty, triggering emotional needs and creating anxiety. However, if you are a child of God who has put your trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you want to pursue the will of God the right way – the proper way.
That means that in your spiritual relationship with God, you want Him to the be primary love of your life. Even when you find the person you think would be the perfect spouse you still want to follow God’s own heart and keep your priorities on your relationship with Him first.
Keeping your life with Jesus Christ in focus is the key to being happy single women, and happy single men. The same principle still applies if you want a happy marriage when your life partner comes along. It’s essential to remember that waiting can be a good thing.
Although it may not feel like it, waiting can be a legitimate blessing if you focus on God’s guidance and learn to trust in Him. Waiting also allows you to grow emotionally, preparing you for a lifelong commitment to God and a future spouse. After all, entering a relationship without being spiritually and emotionally ready can spell disaster.
Why is god making me wait for a husband or wife? He may want us to accept ourselves and His love for us without the pressure of society, friends, and loved ones.
Societal and Peer Pressure
Depending on your personality, age, or place in life, being a single woman or man in today’s world can feel like you are swimming against the current. Society often stigmatizes singleness, and peer and family expectations about finding your future husband can compound this pressure.
However, none of that should take away your sense of worth for as a child of God you are priceless. While romantic relationships are a part of life, they shouldn’t define your worth or happiness.
I certainly don’t have the capacity to tell everyone what God’s will is for their lives. However, I can confidently say we should not depend on our peers, close friends, or even family members to make us feel loved and accepted. Certainly, they can be encouraging at times. However, your worth is what God says it is – and you are amazingly valuable.
If you have trusted Christ as your Lord, there is a more intimate and connected, powerful relationship with the God of the universe than you could ever imagine:
“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.”
Romans 8:15-16:
The term “abba father” is an intimate term that implies that you can crawl up into your Heavenly Father’s lap and express your innermost feelings, or weep, or share your deepest fear with Him.
Dear friends, if you are a Christian, then focus on the truth about what God says about you – not on your emotions inside, not on your outward appearance, but on the incredible things that God says about you if you are a child of God. Look at this great passage that I love:
“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”
Colossians 3:1-3
Don’t let what anyone says or thinks about you hinder you from trusting God’s promises that He is there for you and will never fail you. “Well, that doesn’t guarantee that God’s going to bring me the love of my life, does it?” No. I’m afraid not. I could tell you stories of people who followed God’s call on their lives, waited quite a long number of years and eventually God brought them to their spouse in His perfect timing.
However, I can also tell you stories of others who honored God as first place in their lives for many, many years – in the large and small things- but so far have never gotten married. However, they led some of the most incredible, joyous, and happy lives as children of God, walking with Him.
So, I partner with you in praying that God will provide you with a spouse even as I write this. And the chances are good that He will. However, please don’t let your emotions, societal pressure, or any type of pressure beat you down. You are loved by God and have a wonderful chance to have a joyful life whether single or married.
Okay, let’s move ahead.
Understanding God’s Timing and Plan
In the kingdom of God, His timing is something that we simply can’t often see. Understanding God’s timing can be mysterious and, often, our timeline doesn’t align with God’s plan. There are many verses found in scripture that stress the importance of waiting and trusting God’s word. Here are just a couple found in the Old Testament:
- Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)
- “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
- Psalm 27:14 (NLT)
- “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
In matters of the heart, or more specifically, the desires of your heart, God’s timing is perfect. Sometimes the hardest things to wait upon are the greatest and most wonderful things that God has to offer for us. So, when the waiting takes a lot of time, trust God, not your emotions – and trust His heart. I think of this quote from the great theologian, Charles Spurgeon:
“God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.”
Humans do not have the capacity to understand the complexity of what God might be doing for you that is now unbeknownst to you. However, God understands fully and totally how all of the pieces fit together and His plans will come to fruition.
I want you to be sure that you understand the following biblical principle if you ask yourself, “Why is God making me wait for a husband or wife?
You Are Not Incomplete
There is a false notion that you are incomplete if you are single. Well, I’m here to tell you that the only thing that will make you complete is having a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. You may very well be blessed by God with the spouse of your dreams in the near future.
However, don’t think of that as seeking someone to complete you. Because of your faith and trust in Christ and His adoption of you into the family of God, look at what He says about you!
“For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” –
Colossians 2:9-10
Right now, you are a complete person. Yes, if you marry a Christian mate, you two will become one in the sight of God. However, you ARE NOT an incomplete person now…at all. Celebrate that!
The Privilege and Pleasure of Spiritual Growth
If you are in a time of waiting on God, why not focus on your personal and spiritual growth? Spending time alone with God on a daily basis and spending time in His word is empowering, and enlightening, and can decrease your worry and your anxiety level. You can have a season of singleness where you grow in the love and power of God.
By the unmerited favor of God – His grace – God can strengthen your relationship with Him as the Holy Spirit (who is also God) resides in every true believer. Meditate on that and let your faith deepen and strengthen through prayer, reading God’s word, and meditation on God’s word.
A season of waiting, whether long or short is a golden opportunity for spiritual growth that can give you joy now AND prepare you for additional incredible joy when the time comes for you to find a mate.
Trusting God’s plan, even in a long run of singleness, can lead to internal peace and emotional well-being. Your faith can act like a compass, guiding you through the waiting process and showing you signs from God that you’re on the right path.
Taking Active Steps in Waiting
This may sound trite, but while you’re waiting for the right person, don’t forget to live your life. Don’t sit out life in front of the TV bingeing on Netflix. You can be active and you can simultaneously seek contentment during a time of waiting.
A world Famous Bible Verse In the Proper Context
The Apostle Paul advocated for Christians to be content in every situation. One of the most quoted verses in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 4:13 “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
Well, the context of that verse is not that we can do EVERYTHING in the world that we want as we sometimes are given that impression. Look at what Paul was talking about. The context is about being content in whatever circumstance God has allowed us to be in. Let’s back up a couple verses and put them in the context of the point He was making. Look at the verses prior to the famous verse we just quoted:
“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:11-13
As the legendary radio commentator, Paul Harvey, used to say, “that’s the rest of the story.” The context of Philippians 4:13 is that you can be content in whatever circumstances God allows to come your way.
Whether you are single for a long time, or if you are single for a relatively short time, God can give you the power and allow the Holy Spirit to work through you to allow you to be content in either of those circumstances. He provides a way and wants what’s best for you!
Faith and Action
None of this is to imply that you should do nothing and just sit in your home with your cell phone in your lap waiting to hear from a young man or a young lady out of the blue. You can place yourself in surroundings and circumstances that can be more conducive to meeting a future spouse.
You can balance your faith with actions, pursue your career, engage in hobbies, and consider dating opportunities as they come along. Sometimes taking the next step forward might mean trusting the Lord by getting out of the so-called “comfort zone” and building relationships with groups of Christians – maybe new people that you meet in various settings.
There’s nothing wrong with taking active steps while waiting on God if those steps are from the Holy Spirit and you are being prompted by Him. As you pursue the activities of your life – do your waiting with God’s purposes in mind and give Him thanks and praise as you live the totality of your daily life.
Okay, let’s not just take my word for it when it comes to God giving us our heart’s desire and bringing us a future wife or future husband. Let’s turn to the pages of scripture and find some incredible stories of God’s faithfulness and God’s wisdom in bringing the right person of the opposite sex into your life. Let’s look at some captivating and encouraging stories of love, patience, and waiting. God had a specific purpose in mind in each of these stories. Christian singles can take heart that no matter what the outcome, God has your best in mind.
The Power of Patience: Lessons from Biblical Couples
The Bible isn’t short of examples when it comes to the subject of love and marriage, especially those that took time to come to fruition. Let’s look at some of these stories to gain strength and hope while we wait for our “right person.”
The Love Story of Isaac and Rebekah: Trusting in Divine Timing and Providence
The love story of Isaac and Rebekah is a beautiful tale of divine intervention and emotional connection, found in the Bible’s book of Genesis, chapters 24 and 25. At the age of forty, Isaac found his life partner, Rebekah, through a miraculous chain of events orchestrated by his father Abraham’s most trusted servant.
Sent back to Abraham’s homeland, the servant prayed fervently for God to reveal the perfect match for Isaac. As if on cue, Rebekah appeared, offering not just water to the servant but also to his camels. This small but significant act solidified her position as God’s chosen one for Isaac.
What sets Rebekah apart in this narrative is her remarkable faith and agency. When faced with the life-altering choice of leaving her family and homeland to marry Isaac, Rebekah didn’t hesitate. Her willingness to step into the unknown echoed the faith Isaac’s own family had demonstrated, particularly his father, Abraham.
Like Abraham, Rebekah was willing to follow God’s guidance, even when it led her far from home. Upon meeting Rebekah and hearing the tale of divine providence from his servant, Isaac took Rebekah into his deceased mother Sarah’s tent. In that intimate space, Rebekah became his wife and a new chapter in their lives began. Isaac found in Rebekah a deeply emotional and divine connection. His marriage to her wasn’t just a fulfillment of societal or parental expectations; it was a love that provided him comfort and filled an emotional void left by his mother’s passing.
Lesson:
The story of Isaac and Rebekah serves as a powerful reminder that love often comes when we least expect it. It encourages us to trust in divine timing and providence while also emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and emotional connection in relationships.
Love Worth the Wait: Jacob and Rachel
Jacob’s love story with Rachel stands as one of the most poignant in biblical history, illustrating love’s enduring power and the lengths to which people will go for true love. When Jacob set his eyes on Rachel, he was immediately captivated.
She was the embodiment of the partner he had longed for. His love was so compelling that he struck a deal with Laban, Rachel’s father, to work for seven years to earn the privilege of marrying her. The Bible describes those seven years as feeling like “only a few days” to Jacob because of his love for Rachel (Genesis 29:20).
However, the road to wedded bliss was not straightforward for Jacob. On what should have been the happiest day of his life, he was deceived by Laban into marrying Rachel’s older sister, Leah. Though disheartened, his love for Rachel remained unshaken.
This devotion fueled him to confront Laban and agree to another seven years of labor to finally wed Rachel. Even after enduring deception and years of hard work, Jacob’s love for Rachel never waned, and the couple ultimately united in matrimony.
Their story serves as a vivid reminder that true love is worth the wait, often requiring sacrifice, resilience, and an enduring commitment. Jacob’s unwavering love for Rachel is not just a historical tale but a lesson for us all. It demonstrates the lengths we might go for the relationships that matter most. It also highlights the importance of patience and trust in God’s timing, even when faced with obstacles and deceptions.
Jacob and Rachel’s love story is an enduring testament to the resilience and depth of genuine love, guided by faith and commitment, which can offer comfort and inspiration for those who are in their own seasons of waiting.
Lesson:
True love is worth waiting for and working for, no matter the obstacles and delays.
The Story of Ruth and Boaz: God’s Timing and True Love
The biblical story of Ruth and Boaz serves as one of the most heartwarming examples of God’s perfect timing and the transformative power of true love. Ruth, a Moabite widow, decided to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, after the death of her husband. The act itself was against societal norms and expectations, considering she was a foreigner in Israel.
The turning point in Ruth’s life came when she decided to glean in the fields belonging to Boaz, a close relative to her deceased husband. Boaz was struck not only by Ruth’s beauty but also by her character, her loyalty to Naomi, and her faith in the God of Israel. Despite Ruth’s status as a foreigner and a widow, Boaz saw her true worth.
This is a significant illustration for single women today for several good reasons. Firstly, it exemplifies the concept of God’s timing. Ruth had gone through a long season of hardship and loss, but when the time was right, God’s plan unfolded in a way that was beyond her expectations.
Secondly, it illustrates the desires of your heart aligning with God’s own heart. Ruth’s virtuous qualities were rewarded with a love life that was fulfilling and blessed, embodying the very essence of what a godly man should be like.
By faith and the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Ruth chose to believe the God of Israel as her own and moved to a foreign land. Her steps were guided by faith and, ultimately, she was led to her life partner, Boaz, in God’s perfect timing.
The story culminates in their marriage, which leads to the birth of Obed, the grandfather of King David and an ancestor of Jesus Christ. Thus, their union had long-term significance in God’s broader plan. That definitely underscored the concept of waiting for God’s perfect timing for finding your future husband.
Hosea and Gomer: Unfailing Love
The prophet Hosea was instructed by God to marry Gomer, a woman with a questionable reputation, to symbolize God’s unwavering love for His wayward people. Even when Gomer strayed, Hosea’s commitment to her remained steadfast (Hosea 1-3).
Hosea’s love for Gomer mirrors God’s love for us—unconditional, persistent, and redemptive. Their story serves as a poignant reminder that love and commitment can overcome even the most difficult circumstances. It underscores the power of enduring love, urging us to remain committed and trust in God’s plan, no matter the obstacles we face.
Each of these biblical couples teaches us something unique about patience, faith, and love. Whether you’re waiting for the right person or questioning the wait, remember that good things—divine unions—come to those who wait. And just as these Biblical figures found happiness through patience and faith, you can too.
Do you think that some of the godly people in these stories could have asked, “Why is God Making Me Wait For a Husband or Wife?? I do. But He came through!
Summary and Conclusion
Navigating the path of singleness while yearning for a life partner is a journey that tests both patience and faith. The waiting period can often feel like a long rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows, made worse by expectations from society and self-doubt.
However, it’s crucial to remember that this waiting season isn’t just a passive state of longing; it’s an active period for spiritual growth, personal development, and forging a stronger relationship with God.
Drawing from the biblical examples of couples like Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Boaz and Ruth, and Hosea and Gomer, we can take solace in the knowledge that waiting isn’t a new concept. These stories aren’t just tales from the past but serve as timeless lessons that true love, divinely sanctioned and timed, can bring immeasurable joy and completeness.
Your current state of singleness isn’t a deficit but rather a space that God is likely using to prepare you and your future spouse for a meaningful, lasting relationship.
As you go through this period, make it a season of positive growth.
So, whether you’ve been waiting a short time or it feels like a lifetime, remember: waiting is not wasted time. It’s a golden opportunity to refocus, renew, and strengthen your spiritual life, empowering you for the journey ahead, whatever it may hold. Keep faith, for God’s plans for you are always for your good, sculpting a story that, in time, will unfold in its full beauty.
If you find yourself consantly asking “Why is God Making Me Wait For a Husband or Wife? Stay encouraged, for the waiting period is but a chapter in your story, and what a glorious story it promises to be.
- Why does it seem like everyone around me is getting married?
- Everyone has their own timeline in God’s plan.
- How do I know when it’s time to take action?
- Look for signs from God and aligning circumstances.
- Is it okay to consider being single for life?
- Absolutely. Singlehood can also be a fulfilling life choice, supported by God’s love.
- Can I be content while waiting for the ‘right one’?
- Yes, contentment comes from a strong relationship with God and being fulfilled in your current stage of life, regardless of marital status.
- What role does prayer play in finding a spouse?
- Prayer is a way to align yourself with God’s plan and to ask for wisdom and guidance in your relationship journey. It is very important to seek God in prayer.
- How do I deal with feelings of loneliness?
- Turn to God for comfort and companionship, lean on trusted Christian friends, and also consider joining Christian community groups or ministries to find like-minded individuals.
- How important is physical attraction?
- We’re not going to say that we don’t want to be physically attracted to the person. However, that’s not the end all, be all. While physical attraction can be important, it should not be the sole factor in choosing a spouse. Focus on spiritual and emotional compatibility as your first priority.
- Is online dating against God’s plan?
- Online dating is a modern medium to meet people and is not inherently against God’s plan. Many couples have met that way. However, with this medium, please use extreme caution and discernment in your actions.
- How do I know if someone is the ‘right one’?
- Understanding if someone is the “right one” involves a combination of spiritual discernment, mutual respect, aligned values, and a sense of peace when you pray about the relationship.
- Should I discuss my past relationships with my potential spouse?
- Openness and honesty are key in any relationship but discuss past relationships with sensitivity and at an appropriate time. Both partners should be comfortable with the conversation. You don’t want to be deceptive to your potential partner about your past. However, pray to god and seek the right timing if you think there are issues that you should discuss.
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